Made it!

After six long months, I finally made it back home to Texas. Left on February 25th, saw the fam the next day. The flights weren't all that fun, but considering they served beer and I got to see my wife & kids at the end of it, I can't really complain. Got laid-over in Baltimore when the snowstorm that struck Maryland grounded all the planes and there weren't any connecting flights to DFW available at 2300, so I paid a cab $30 to take me to the Holiday Inn which was, of course, booked solid. So I had to hoof it at midnight in my DCUs in 30 degree weather to three different hotels in the hopes of finding a room. Got one on my fourth try. You'd think that walking around in snow dressed as someone ready to pop caps in camel jockeys would be disheartening upon landing on your home soil, but when you consider that I was in the states and didn't have to wear an M9 just to go outside the wire, things couldn't have been better.

At any rate, I've been home for just over two weeks now and the big brass on base have found it in their hearts to give me as much leave as I feel like taking, which is always a good thing. Unfortunately, I'm starting to get bored as the novelty of being the FNG slowly wears off, so I'm just about ready to start heading into work again.

In the meantime, I've been partying like a rock star, living it up with my wife, kids, friends from Fort Worth, and was even graced by a visit from my little brother who came over from Denver. Mom & Em are coming at the end of the month too, so it looks like I'll be plenty busy with company. Also, my good buddy Dan Miller's family will be coming down next week -- Dan's currently deployed to the UAE -- and we're taking all the kids to SeaWorld for a splish-splashin' good time. Looking forward to it.

The good news (work-wise) is that I made board and should be hearing whether or not I picked up those much-coveted anchors here by the beginning of June. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Other than that, nothing else to report. Should be pretty blase now that I'm home, so I won't expect many comments or readers. Nevertheless I'm keeping this blog just to show you that I can. And also to annoy you. That's just how I roll.

Waving Bye-Bye

Ladies & Germs, my time here is just about up. According to my little time-counter I have just about 128 hours left onboard Camp Arifjan. For those of you bad at long division, that translates into just over four days. This time next week I’ll be waking up in my own bed next to my beautiful wife, probably by my two darling little girls. Please believe when I say I can’t wait.

This deployment has been an eye-opener for me. I’ve gotten to see how the senior leadership deals with issues and how their decisions affect how business is conducted at my level. It’s been educational and I’ve learned a lot. But as we Gen-X’ers say, “It’s been real, it’s been fun...but it hasn’t been real fun.” I got my little award and my eval’s been signed, so I’m ready to raise up outta here.

That said, this will be my last post in this blog before I head home. Not that it’s been real entertaining or eventful, but for those of you who’ve taken the time to read it from time to time, thank you. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Better start hydrating now...

Peace!

Join the Navy, See the World

That’s what the poster said. And they weren’t kiddin’ neither, son.

Just got back from Djibouti and Ethiopia (Africa) on my very last trip as the Aide De Camp last weekend. It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Their accommodations there aren’t too awful bad. Plus, they have beer and that’s always a bonus. Africa was the last continent on the planet (besides Antarctica) that I had to visit in my Navy travels. Can't say the Navy engages in false advertising.

Incidentally, when I was a kid and didn’t want to eat something during supper time, one of my mom’s favorite sayings was, “You eat that! There are starving kids in Ethiopia who would DIE to eat what’s on your plate!” Well, I looked while I was in Ethiopia (see pic at right) and didn’t find a single one, Mom. Your pants are on fire.

18 days and a wake up now, kids! I got my wish and have been relegated to a corner desk in the back office (Sustainment Division), forgotten. And I get Saturdays off. Yay! Three weeks from today I’ll be sleeping in my own bed at home in Fort Worth. Can’t wait!

Git to da choppa!

Whew! Last couple days just FLEW by. Boss had a conference at Al Udeid Air Base (the biggest air base in the CENTCOM AOR) and a few office calls with a couple big shots down in Bahrain. The good thing about those places is: BEER! Fell off the wagon for a couple days to indulge in a few empty calories, but I’m back on it and ready to hit the gym this afternoon. Always good to get a break from the daily grind and drown your sorrows in a few bottles of malted hops. Here’s a few pics from the weekend’s events:

Heading to Qatar in the Blackhawk. I love helicopters...

Me & LCDR Brian Malloy enjoying a couple frosty beverages.

Major General Eugene "Gray" Payne (aka. The Boss) & me

Sombreros for everybody!

Big pimpin' it at the Sherlock Holmes Club at the Gulf Hotel in downtown Manama, Bahrain. You know how we do.

George Costanza ain't got shit on me.

Phat.....like Cindy Crawford!

I've been on the Body for Life diet now since November 6th. Spent almost two months in the sandbox before I finally hunkered down and got serious about shedding some of this extra weight I've been packing on since Amy & I got married. I mean, let's face it: there comes a time in a man's life where the terms "cute baby fat" and "a pudgy little teddy bear" no longer apply. I was weighing in at a hefty 215 when I left last August. I knew I was living large...how could I not? Some people like to try and justify their weight or excuse their eating habits by saying things like, "Oh, I'm just big boned." Bullshit. Dinosaurs are big boned. You're fat. Or "Well, I'm just a little heavy." Again, bullshit. Aircraft carriers are heavy. You're fat. These cutesy little PC euphemisms are just brain fodder for the lazy no-load who doesn't have the self-discipline to put down that ninth Krispy Kreme, push his fat-ass away from the table and get outside and run a few miles.

So in keeping with the spirit of calling a spade a spade and all, I was getting pretty FAT there for a hot minute myself. But I want y'all to know that I know that and I'm through lying to myself. Much like that fourth Twinky, lies are bad for you. They rationalize your situation in your own mind and beget complacency. That said, I've changed my way of thinking and my habits. I've sorted out my priorities and am now a full-fledged, four-alarm, neurotic health nut. (Okay, maybe not neurotic, but I watch what I eat.)

Like I said, I weighed about 215 before I left. Looking a pictures from my going away party -- remember? Everyone shaved my head? -- I was looking every ounce of that 215, too. Not too attractive there, Tubby. So, I vowed to myself (and my wife) that I would come home thin. At first I told her I'd come home "thinNER," but c'mon....who was I trying to bullshit here? You have to BE thin to get thin-NER. Bottom line: I just had to lose some serious poundage, so finally I just said I'd come home thin.

Amy, I'm making good on my promise!

Today I jumped on the scale at the Zone 1 Gym and I have to admit, I was a little nervous. I started on the BFL diet but once I hit 195 (20 pounds!) I started to cheat a little here and there. Not gorging on sweets or going overboard with snacks or anything -- I just let the rigidness of the program slide a little bit, but I watched my portions and kept the workout routine going. That's what I'm doing today. I'm just trying to maintain my weight and get healthy. I'll have a treat or two every now and then, but I'm not camped out in front of the candy table like a couple of the other fat asses around here. So anyway, back to my story....

I get on the scale this afternoon and, like I said, I was a little anxious. Not sticking exactly to the BFL diet had me worried. Imagine my surprise when I hop on it in PT gear, look down, and the scale reads 188. One hundred eighty-eight pounds! I haven't weighed that much (or, more accurately, that little) since....geesh, I can't remember when. Three more and I'll have lost 30 pounds!! Crazyness. Absolutely crazy. I couldn't believe it. Needless to say I'm pretty happy about my progress. I'm going to try and get those last three pounds gone before I head back home in 47 days, but if I can squeeze out another five and make it down to 180, I'll definitely make a go of it.

So that's my story for today. And I’m stickin’ to it. Like my diet.

Eat your heart out, Fabio.

I'm back!

Happy New Year!

I got back from Bahrain in one piece, but the whole trip is pretty hazy to me personally. It gets a little fuzzy right around the time we were all sitting around the hotel bar doing shots of Captain Morgan's and drinking Hennessy & Red Bull, doing "the shopping cart" and "the lawnmower" on the dance floor. The A-Rabs over there are pretty crazy, too. The men (wearing man dresses and that thing on their heads) apparently have no compunction whatever about dancing and grinding all up on each other to what, to me, sounds like the same whining songs over and over. Makes me feel a lot better about my signature dance, “The White Man’s Overbite.” (That's how I roll.) I shaved my chest with a pair of desk scissors sometime during the course of the weekend, too, but exactly when I'm not sure. I guess I figured I’d get a head-start on the surgery I had on the Wednesday after I got back. Itches like crazy now. Anyways, they tell me I had a pretty good time.

In other news, the new boss is here. Marine Corps Brigadier General Eugene “Gray” Payne is taking over for General Ladnier in the next couple of days. Seems like a real nice guy. He found out yesterday that he, too, picked up his second star, so that’s good news for everybody. Always nice when your boss starts off with a positive experience. With any luck he’ll replace me with a new Aide-De-Camp so I can focus on doing what I was supposed to be doing here from the git-go. It’s been educational and all, but I’ve gotten my fill of face time with the big brass and it’d be great if they could send me off to a corner for my last 48 days and just forget about me. It was an eye-opening experience working this closely with really senior military leaders, but if this job has taught me one thing about myself it’s that I am definitely a blue-collar guy. All the politics are just so...draining. It is, however, pretty fun to watch a bunch of normally haughty and high-handed officers trip over themselves trying to brown-nose the boss. But despite the entertainment value, I’m ready to get out of this desk and enjoy my last couple of weeks in relative obscurity. Maybe even get a day or two off.

Speaking of, it looks like I won’t be heading home early after all. They don’t want to let anyone leave without a relief on post -- Pandora’s Box and all that. Figured I might've had a shot -- the Navy Region Southeast Sailor of the Year board is going down February 4-8 and were I home I'd represent NAS JRB Fort Worth at that -- but alas, no dice. S'all good though. I’ve only got about six short weeks left and I can do that standing on my head, baby.

Catch y’all later!